A couple of summers ago, I came across an Instagram post by Dr. María Velasco and it opened my eyes... That very day, my family and I were at a water park, and my husband was with the girls trying out the different slides while I was "watching the towels." Yes, I thought I had come out ahead in negotiating who did what because I had a little time to myself to read or look at IG... but no, clearly he was the one winning because, in the short term, he was having more fun, and in the long term, my daughters would remember that "we do fun things with dad, dad encourages us to overcome fears on that high slide." And it opened my eyes... I was so busy making sure the vacation was perfect that I wasn't enjoying it, I wasn't creating memories with my daughters. I was thinking about whether I had enough dry clothes to put on them before we went home, whether there were clean clothes for the next day, what we were going to have for dinner, that we needed to go to the supermarket because there was nothing for breakfast the next day, rushing to change their swimsuits before lunch, making sure their sandwiches didn't fall on the floor... and a thousand other things, while my husband was sliding down the water slides with them. I stopped to think, and it had been years since I had gone down a water slide. And it was no one's fault but mine; he had asked me if I wanted to go on the slides with them, and I had said no. I was too lazy, didn't want to get wet in case the water was cold, had washed my hair the day before... I had said no to having fun with them. It sucked, yes, it sucked.
Dr. María Velasco said in her post that there is a silent ailment that affects women... almost since they are teenagers, and it only gets worse as we grow and mature. It doesn't happen to boys, at least not to all of them and certainly not to the same extent as it does to us.
We forget how to play, and it's so sad, it's horrible, to lose the ability to play.
As girls, we played with dolls in a corner while the boys played ball and took up the whole playground. In adolescence, we started to carry a so-called "responsibility" and an intense self-perception of our bodies. As we developed in adolescence, it was common for us to no longer feel like playing sports, either because we no longer recognized our bodies and how they moved or the space they occupied, or because we didn't want our legs, breasts, or stomachs to be seen in a certain way, or because our classmates made fun of or laughed at how we did certain movements (don't tell me this didn't happen in your class if you grew up in the '80s or '90s... and I know it still happens). The thing is, we stopped moving and acting freely out of fear of consequences or what people would say. And while we stopped playing, the boys kept playing sports, roughhousing, venturing to do new things, seeing how much faster they could run, how much more weight they could lift, experimenting with their bodies and the possibilities they offered.
And that is very sad.
When we grow older, it doesn't go away... the worry about messing up our hair or makeup, or having a roll of fat showing, or a breast slipping out... it only gets worse. And even when we start a family, we take on responsibilities that we assume are ours (what's for dinner tomorrow? do last year's clothes still fit?). And we forget to enjoy ourselves, immersed in a sea of never-ending to-do lists and endless tasks.
How long has it been since you went down a slide (with or without water)? How long has it been since you played something physical (a tickle fight with your kids or your partner or your sister)? A race to see who gets there first, throwing a ball to see who gets it farther, putting on skates...
Fun: More than a luxury, a psychological necessity
From a psychological standpoint, fun is not a luxury or a waste of time. It is a basic need for our mental and emotional health. According to studies, play and fun reduce stress, increase creativity, and improve overall well-being. Additionally, laughing and enjoying life has physical benefits, such as the release of endorphins and reduced blood pressure. In other words, having fun makes you happier and healthier.
Don't take yourself so seriously
Sometimes, as we reach a certain age, we feel compelled to be serious and responsible at all times. But here's a secret: YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE. Allow yourself a little lightheartedness and play, and transform your perspective; give yourself the energy you need to face daily challenges. Do you remember what made you laugh until your belly hurt when you were younger? What does it matter if the kids don't go to bed on time today? What does it matter if you have dinner a little later because you're dancing in the living room?
Activities to laugh and enjoy
Fun can come in many forms and sizes. Here are some ideas to add a bit of sparkle to your life:
- Dance: You don't need to be a professional. Just play your favorite music and move like no one is watching.
- Travel and Adventure: From a weekend getaway to an exotic trip, exploring new places is always exciting.
- Classes and Workshops: Have you always wanted to learn to paint, play an instrument, or even do pottery? Now is the time!
- Social Gatherings: Organize dinners, theme parties, or just go out for coffee with your friends. Shared laughter is the sweetest.
- Hobbies: Rediscover old passions or find new ones. Gardening, cooking, crafts, anything that makes you smile.
- Play: whenever you can: jump into that pool even if it's cold and you've just washed your hair, join in that water gun or snowball fight, build sandcastles at the beach, dress up, eat that ice cream, put on those skates, and race. Go down that slide.
Fun in community
If you don't know where to start, try surrounding yourself with people who also value play and joy, as they can create a positive and motivating environment. You can join clubs, interest groups, or even volunteer activities to open yourself up to new friendships and fun experiences. Personally, I prefer to drag my friends along... but I'm naturally introverted.
The power of saying "Yes"
Many times, fun is just around the corner, but we block it ourselves with excuses. "I'm too busy," "I don't have time," "I'm not a kid for those things anymore." It's time to change that mindset! Saying "yes" to new experiences and opportunities for fun can be incredibly liberating.
Taking care of yourself
Fun is also a form of self-care. Prioritizing moments of joy and relaxation not only improves your mood but also makes you more resilient to stress and difficulties. So, next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to have fun, and you'll see how everything improves.
Maturity doesn't have to be synonymous with boredom or routine. It's a stage full of potential to rediscover joy and fun. It doesn't matter if you're 45, 55, or 65 years old; it's never too late to start enjoying life with the same passion and enthusiasm as when you were younger!
Seriously, before saying no to something that could be fun, think about the worst possible outcome. Will you have to wash your hair again? Might a stranger see a roll of fat? Will what keeps you from playing be important next week? Next month? Next year?
The day I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I ended up going down all the slides... and that winter, I bought a sled big enough for me to go down with my daughters, and this summer, I want to sign up for surfing lessons.
I'm not missing any slides anymore; I go down all the ones I find.
What are you going to do?